My trip to Washington

I flew in to DC Monday for a job interview in a Maryland suburb. I conquered my fear of flying, although the fear had managed to grow in my head during the last 4 years since I've been on a plane. I was not nearly as afraid of flying as I thought I was and I enjoyed both flights, there and back. Having a few beers prior to certainly didn't hurt. They were also short 75 minute flights, which contributed to my enjoyment. I'm actually pretty sure that I fell asleep on my evening flight last night which is something I had trouble doing in the past.

The interview went well. I think the company is going in the right direction; constructing new buildings, adding jobs. Everyone seemed to love it there, I liked everyone that I spoke to, and the location is beautiful. Let's see how it turns out. If the money is right then it looks like it could be a winner.

Last night when I was sitting at the airport having a beer, everyone around me starting clapping and running towards the walkway to catch a look at something. I turned around and only noticed a lot of men in dark suits with red ties. I mistakenly thought it was some hero pilots or something. This makes no sense, but I don't know... maybe pilots get applause? Anyway, I turned around again quickly and noticed blonde spikey hair walking past me. Right around the time I put it together in my head someone yelled out, "We love you, Hillary!". So yeah, Hillary Clinton walked approximately 3 feet away from me. I could have reached out and gently caressed her face if I was in the mood to be beaten half to death by a dozen secret service agents. I shook Bill's hand in 2004, so I could have completed the Clinton circle, if you will (you're next, Chelsea).

Bill Clinton is pretty much the president of my childhood, he was President from when I was 10 to when I was 18 and will probably always be a significant Presidential figure to me for as long as he is alive. I'm glad I got the chance to hear him speak at my graduation in 2004 and also to shake his hand. I supported Hillary originally in the 2008 election before I kinda got swept up in Obama-mania like a lot of people. I still think that Hillary could be a good President - maybe some day.

This was actually my first time in Washington - I saw a lot of the monuments while in the taxi, which was cool, and I was feet away from a political powerhouse. Add that to a successful job interview and I'd say it was a good trip.

Stuff

I think I had a pretty good weekend, aside from my FFB team laying a complete egg and scoring 0 touchdowns between the entire team, save the one player I have playing on Monday Night Football tonight. Doesn't matter - I clearly lost. As of right now I'm the low score for the week. In the grand scheme of things, it's not a big deal at all. Everyone loses and I'm still towards the top in overall points. But the big loss here is that I've lost all my shit talking privileges for the foreseeable future due to the complete suck-bomb that my team laid out there this weekend. And I like to talk shit. So I'm a bit disappointed.

But other than that, things went well. Saw two movies, Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs in 3D and The Informant. Cloudy was ok, there were some cute parts and there was a funny monkey but I wasn't really feelin' it. Matt Damon really nailed it in The Informant, though. Just a tremendous performance. His character breaks off into these crazy thought patterns as he is in the middle of doing things (as shown through narration of random things while something else is going on) and I found it highly enjoyable. Pretty cool story, as well, considering that it is mostly based on a true story. Another instance of a character in a movie or TV show going to Cornell only to be a crazy person/psycho or fool (see: Bernard, Andy). Is Cornell the go-to Ivy League school for flawed scripted characters? I know it's not the best school in the Ivy League but please hollywood, give us a break.

Marissa and I were supposed to go camping but ended up not due to the 1 inch of rain being forecast. This ended up being a wise decision because the forecast was accurate and we would have been miserable. We did end up going to the Adirondacks for the day, which I really enjoyed. I like to be in the woods and to hike and stuff, even though I don't get to do it that often. Jack had a perfect doggie day of running through the trees, swimming in a lake, climbing a mountain and getting a lot of attention from strangers (which he even allowed after he was tired).

We ended up climbing a mountain, which was a half mile straight up hill. I had Jack on the leash so I ended up taking it in dog pace, which was pretty fast. Thankfully I've been exercising all summer so I was able to do it pretty easily. It was a beautiful view, and we ended up having lunch on top while enjoying the view. It was pretty nice.

So tonight I am off to Maryland for my interview. I'm trying not to be nervous about the plane trip. I kinda hate that I'm the kind of guy who worries about things that have a 1 in 8.5 million chance of happening. I'm just trying to relax and not think about it. I do hate flying though. Marissa is going to be watching Jack so I hope that he behaves. I think he is still worn out from Saturday, though, so he probably won't be much trouble.

Interview tomorrow, which hopefully goes well, and back in Syracuse by 10:30 PM if all goes well. Let's hope that it does!

Needy's Body

So while my friend Luke was here last week we went to see Jennifer's Body, starring who most people consider the sexiest woman on the planet, Megan Fox. I happen to think Megan Fox is pretty hot, especially in the first Transformers. She is also batshit crazy, if you happen to read any of the hundreds of interviews she's done lately.

In the movie, she plays Jennifer, a girl who gets possessed by a demon (SPOILER ALERT) and starts killing people. If you couldn't have surmised this already from the previews, you probably should try a less taxing hobby than watching movies.

Her best friend in the movie is Needy, played by Amanda Seyfried. You might recognize Amanda from Big Love, that one episode of House she was on, or most likely as one of the plastics from "Mean Girls", which is the only time in existence when Lindsay Lohan was awesome.

She is not supposed to be sexy in the movie. In fact, if you see the dress she wore to the prom then you would realize that she is supposed to be a giant nerd. This is in stark contrast to the vamping Megan Fox, who they pretty much want you to think is dripping hot sex throughout the entire movie.

Maybe it's my personality or whatever, but I came away from the movie thinking that one of the girls was extremely hot and it wasn't the one ranked #1 on Maxim's Hottest Women on the Planet list. It was the nerdy one.

This kind of always happens to me. After I saw Nick and Norah for the first time, I was insanely attracted to Kat Dennings; this despite the fact she isn't particularly attractive. Am I just attracted to nerdy girls, who in the case of Dennings and Needy are slightly frumpy? I don't think that's the case. It probably comes down to the fact that I'm a giant nerd myself and I can completely relate.

In high school and college this sort of behavior got me in trouble with my friends all the time. Gathered around a computer screen to look at some bleached blonde with giant fake tits...everyone would be gushing about how hot she is and I couldn't help but express my lack of enthusiasm. This lead to me being called negative or a downer or "super high standards" a lot of the time, but I think what my friends always failed to realize (and probably still do) is that my standards aren't the same as theirs. I have absolutely no tolerance for stupidity, so I would probably not be interested in a girl who looked like Megan Fox if she was as dumb as a lamppost (although if she actually WERE Megan Fox then I think I would manage)...

Anyway, the movie was pretty decent. I laughed a lot more than I figured I would. I would recommend if if you can handle "Diablo Cody" speak, which is to say a lot of metaphors and sayings that are a bit of a reach from the way people actually talk.

"I am smiling because this random guy who writes a blog thinks I'm cuter than Megan Fox. Hooray for me."

Meh says the goat

I had almost forgotten how difficult it is to write and maintain a blog when you have nothing to talk about. All summer it was so easy since I was a man possessed with goals, and missions, and all of that nonsense. I had things to write about.

Now? I work, I dominate fantasy football, I run a little bit, I play video games, and what else? I don't know... Nothing crazy going on.

I am dating someone but that's not exactly bloggable... you can get in a lot of trouble that way, and I have a big enough mouth the way it is.

I am going to Maryland on Tuesday the 29th for a job interview. Let's see how that goes. I am keeping an open mind. All things being equal I'd probably want to stay in Syracuse, but all things aren't equal. If I get the offer it WILL be for more money, with a higher bonus, and better benefits, and the weather will be nicer. It's just that I have a house here and I like my house and I kind of want to take the easy way out. But I can't, because I won't have a job come next May and I have to get a move on. Yes, it's possible that I will get an offer from BMS by then but I'm not willing to wait around and find out. I don't really want to have to find out how fun it is to collect unemployment.

When I moved to Syracuse my plan was to live here for 5 years maximum, bar the possibility that you find and marry some girl and then you're kind of trapped and even though you love her you kind of secretly resent her because you're fucking TRAPPED in a frigid ice box that gets two months of summer and is a city due to population statistics only... so there's that. So I have tried to date girls who don't plan on living in Syracuse their entire life but I failed miserably at that, since I'm pretty sure the one serious girlfriend I had here planned on living here for the rest of her life.

And that's the main warning that everyone gives me when I tell them that I want to stay here 3-5 years and leave. Be careful, because you never know if you'll get stuck in a situation where you can't leave.

So my options, as I see it, are to stay here in my comfortable house, which I love. My dog is settled here and he's happy. I'm 90% happy, if my job was better I'd dare say 100%. Or I can go to Washington DC suburb, get a job with much better career prospects and make more money. And it would probably be the kind of money that's almost a little absurd for a single guy with no obligations to be making, especially considering I'm not the kind of person who is going to run out and buy a BMW or something like that. Maybe the newest, freshest Apple product but that's not going to bankrupt you.

Long time readers are also aware that I suffer from seasonal affective disorder and I'm saying I'm happy now under the idea that winter was a long time ago and there is a dark spot in my brain kind of preventing me from realizing that it's right around the corner. If I had this decision to make in December when it's 4 degrees here and a foot of snow and it's 30 in Maryland with green(ish) grass, do I not run for the fucking door like I'm Usain Bolt after inhaling 30 pounds of meth? I don't know.

But it's not an easy thing, to pick up and move. It NEVER is, but it's harder now. I own the place I live. My name is on it. Not only am I proud of that, it makes it much harder to just pack up and go. Also, when I first got here I was under the impression I would be here awhile so I bought a lot of furniture. My dog is settled and hard to move since he's a 90 pound scary looking thing, despite the fact that he has run away from squirrels before and gotten his ass handed to him by a cat on multiple occasions.

I honestly think my brain is setting up barriers because I have repeatedly conditioned myself to take the easy way out... even though I haven't always done that. It's definitely my preferred option. The easiest way out here is to do nothing and be complacent but I don't think I can do that. I have to take the best opportunity for me. But how do I know that this is the right one? I have 8 months to try other best opportunities. I am excellent at interviews and my resume is stellar, do I need to take the first thing available to me? Ugghh... I don't know what to do.

I think today's blog post was a perfect exercise on how I am highly capable of going off on unfiltered brain leaks for long periods of time. I have a lot on my mind.

Here's a video of my dog acting crazy:

ughhhh

Today was a disaster.

Trivial: I lost the NFC championship on my Madden online franchise with my friends to my friend Gorzo. We played twice in the regular season and I beat him by a combined 40+ points between the two games. Today I threw two 90+ yard interceptions that he returned for TDs and it was just a disaster. Fuckin' disappointing.

Still trivial: I also was distracted this morning and didn't notice that Wes Welker was declared inactive at 11:50 AM, giving me plenty of time to bench him and start someone else. Did I? No - my head was in a different galaxy and I ended up playing him. Luckily my team is beasting (off the riesling) and I ended up cruising to another victory, but this so ISN'T LIKE ME.

Less than trivial: I've been a slob lately; eating whatever is put in front of me. This makes me sick to my stomach.

And this all ignores the non-trivial thing, that I don't want to talk about. Needless to say, it was not one of the more positive things that has happened in my life. I do my best these days to be a good person and I think I am suceeding at this, but there are times when I still need to question if I am being a jerk or being unnecessarily unreasonable.

Let's say that I have had to consider this today. By reading this blog you can probably tell that I am insanely self reflective and my own harshest critic, but I still don't think I have done anything that I shouldn't have lately. Yet still I can't help but feel like all my recent problems are no one's fault but my own?

I think some of my biggest problems as a human being work out for me for a long time before they ultimately bite me in the ass extra hard in the end. But I won't get in to that right now.

I don't know.

Eh

Haven't posted - nothing going on.

No job news.

Haven't thought of anything good or creative to write.

Overspending and not exercising enough... neither of which I particuarly feel like dwelling on right now. I'm working hard on improving both, although considering how good I have been on both fronts for almost a year now, it was bound to happen at some point. Just need to keep things under control.

I had a nice weekend. Not only did I win my fantasy game, on the backs of Drew Brees and Adrian Peterson, but I had the high score in week 1 which gives me the top perch on the shit talking totem pole, which is a position that I always like to have. Plus, it's actually nice to have a good team for the first time in a few years. I might actually win some money this year!

Also went to Rochester to see one of my favorite bands, fun., in concert for the 2nd time. I had a really good time, it was a good show.

I've been spending a lot of time lately with someone I think I like a little bit; but nothing major to say about that really. Well, sort of there is... I have been kind of ignoring everyone else that I have been talking to, so at least for the time being I have made some type of small scale commitment. Nothing too major or that can't be reversed if things don't work out, though. But who knows how things will turn out - I am trying to just play things by ear especially since my whole life is kind of up in the air right now. It's an odd place to be.

I think I've sort of decided that I'm only going to accept the position in Maryland if they blow me away. They can do this a few ways, the easiest would be a great offer. Cost of living is way higher, so I would need a decent raise... probably $15-20k more than I make now. Another more subtle way would be the work environment, career ladder, etc. I can't even speak on that right now because it's the type of thing I won't know until I see it. Either you convince me on it or you don't.

If I had to pick somewhere to move to, Maryland wouldn't be on the top of my list, so I'm not just going to jump on the first option that comes my way. I have 8 months to find a job.

See - I can talk about things that stress me out even when I don't have anything specific to talk about. So I'm going to stop now.

PS: The Kanye West/Taylor Swift thing was pretty much the GREATEST thing... I think I'm going to be Kanye West for Halloween and dress Jack up as Amber Rose. The only negative about being Kanye is that it would probably be an expensive costume. Still have timmmme to think about it, though.

Is this the worst sentence ever written?

"The experience and emotions tied to listening to Kid A are like witnessing the stillborn birth of a child while simultaneously having the opportunity to see her play in the afterlife on Imax."

- From the 2000 Pitchfork Review of Radiohead's Kid A

Give me a break!

early adopter

In tech terms, if you need to be the first to have that brand new iPhone, blu-ray player, video game system or anything else for that matter, you are called an early adopter.


I am an early adopter, in terms of buying new gadgets, trying new things, and life in general. I read a lot from a lot of different sources so I always tend to know when new things are set to arrive and I tend to anticipate things very heavily before most people even know they exist. As an example, I knew that Apple was going to announce iPod nanos with cameras on them probably two months ago. The announcement was yesterday. So while most people heard about it, processed it, and considered it yesterday for the first time - I already had my mind made up in July if this was something I was interested in or not.

Where am I going with this?

Well, in life, in a sense, I'm an early adopter as well. It works slightly differently, though. The way I perceiving this translating to my real life is that I make my mind up very early, sometimes before I have all the facts. To go back to the iPod nano example, what if the prototype that I was aware of was missing some key feature that I absolutely loved but I already made up my mind in July that this sucked and I wasn't interested? Obviously I could change my mind but that's not always something that comes easily to me.

A real life example of this involved something that happened to me in the 6th grade. I was a bad kid in the sense that I had a bad attitude, no one could tell me what to do and I liked to talk back to anyone who tried to tell me anything. I also was getting straight As, so my guidance counselers didn't really know what to do with me. My mom got called in for a parent/teacher/counseler conference and they were trying to tell me that I had potential but if I didn't straighten out I wouldn't go anywhere. Someone asked me what I wanted to do with my life or what my plans were and for whatever reason I said then that I wanted to go to Cornell. I was 12. I didn't even know Cornell was an Ivy League school at that point, how good it was, or what. But I pretty much made my mind up that day that I was going to go to school there and let that guide my decision making process for 6 years before it finally happened.

So why am I writing about this now?

I make this "mistake" all the time now. I have options, I think one is ok and I choose that and let that guide my decision making process for better or worse. And I'm trying to improve on that. Just last year I went mattress shopping - I only went to one store, which is among the more overpriced - found a mattress I wanted and bought it without shopping around - because I liked it. I probably could have gotten the same mattress elsewhere for cheaper (and perhaps significantly so) but I liked that one and I had to have it.

This happens in non material situations as well. I have options presented for me, one option emerges as slightly better and I begin to disregard the other options and push the slightly better option way out to the forefront. This is not ideal, because having options is a good thing.

I'm not sure what got me to thinking about this yesterday and today but it's probably for the best that I am. You never know when the thing that you disregard could turn out to be something you wish you hadn't missed.

I've been a bad boy

Haven't really talked about fitness lately, have I? There may be a reason for that.

I haven't abandonded it, ye of little faith. But I have been lax. I have not been eating well - I think I've ran through every fast food restaraunt over the past few weeks with the same excuse for each - "Hey, I haven't had this in months!". The good news is, I believe that's out of my system now.

I must have put a ton of weight back on, right? Ehhh... not exactly. But I have gained 3 pounds. I've been slacking a bit for the past 3-4 weeks, so the main detriment is that I probably should have lost 6 pounds or so. Looking at it that, way, I'm a +9 over the time frame. Yes, that a very hard way to look at it, but sometimes you have to be tough on yourself.

I also slacked on the exercise a bit too. End of August/beginning of September I only ran 11 and 6 miles, respectively for those two weeks. Abysmal, especially considering that I haven't been lifing either. I honestly think I burned myself out during the summer - which is fine, because I put a lot of hard work in. Last week, though, I redeemed myself and ran 25 miles, including a 6 mile run Saturday night. The main thing this did is prove to me that I haven't lost it completely.

This transition period is going to be tough - I knew that ahead of time. I've been going out a lot and that has hurt the exercise to be sure. I'm hoping that things will calm down as we get to the end of the month. I feel a really renewed sense of dedication, which is nice. Maybe I just was really burnt out after all.

For whatever reason I feel an overwhelming desire to return to basics and start doing some really basic core exercises. Since I'm not running in the morning anymore, I think I'm going to start doing pushups and situps in the morning. Why not, right? It's fast, easy, and actually does a lot of positive things for your body. I think that sounds like a good idea. The plan, for now, is to continue running in the evenings for as long as I can and then settle in to a good gym routine as soon as it starts getting cold (and dark early - which is coincidentally when my seasonal affective disorder should start kicking in!).

"Now everyone knows that Custer died at Little Big Horn, but what THIS book presupposes is that...maybe he didn't?"

world's greatest soda stacker

Labor Day...

It's nice to have a day off. They are rare for me. I haven't had a vacation since I started and that was about 16 months ago. I could use a week off. Hopefully one of these days.

I wasn't feeling 100% yesterday, so I did what I normally might do in such a situation - I went shopping. I enjoy shopping more than most guys, but that's ok. But maybe you know you're trending a bit too metro when you go to check out at Express and end up in a conversation with the flamingly gay cashier about how he just bought the same exact two pairs of underwear. Furthermore, you don't really think it's that weird as it's happening but only upon further reflection. He was also asking me how my day was and how I was spending my holiday... dude might have been hitting on me!

Whatever, it's worth it for the sweet deals I got. It was the labor day sale, which means bigger sale than normal. Labor Day is kind of the official start of fall, and fall is the main fashion season. Yes I'm mildly embarrassed to know that. Two pairs of jeans, an argyle sweater, a graphic tee and two pairs of underwear for $140! Express jeans are $70 a pair to start with, so obviously I did great. I think I saved over $100 from the sticker price. This makes me very happy.

I wasn't able to shop at Express for years because they don't cater to the overweight amongst us... must hurt the brand image or something. Maybe it's not like that on the girls side, but on the guys side... how much money are they losing, really? Most fat guys aren't shopping at Express, anyway. I was in the strict minority hurting for my overpriced designer clothes. But luckily I'm comfortably back in their "guidelines" so it's all good.

I'm in the process of trying to replace my whole wardrobe and this is not a cheap thing to do...especially now that I need a bunch of new winter clothes. Sigh. I need a raise.

I also got Guitar Hero 5 yesterday, to balance things out. It's pretty sweet - the tracklist is great and the crowd sings along in this one. Tons of fun! I haven't unlocked Kurt Cobain yet, but that should be fun when I do. I can't wait to desecrate his memory by making him sing the more ridiculous songs on the game. Ha! Thanks Courtney!

Only 3 days until the start of the NFL season on Thursday! But the fun doesn't really start until Sunday. Can't wait!

fun with laser pointers

running in place

Boring week - nothing to write about.

My life right now is all about waiting for things to happen. Waiting for football to start (a week today!), waiting to see how my career shakes out (looking much better that I can stay in Syracuse!), waiting for my personal life to settle out (nothing relevant to write in the parenthesis!)

If I can script a perfect fall, then I end up getting a better job here in Syracuse so I can stop looking other places. I end up having someone quality to spend a lot of my time with. I end up being able to buy all the furniture that my house is conveniently missing, including replacing the hideous tan blinds in my bedroom that I honestly might burn after I'm finished. I end up probably getting Jack a brother/sister to play with, although that will require patience. I end up dominating fantasy football.

Are all of these things going to happen? Are any of these things going to happen?

I have no idea.

So, much like myself after attempting to run last night after a Wegman's sub and a bag of trail mix... running in place.