coincidences-a-plenty

I listen to music every night. It's a habit I'm trying to break because it's decidedly unproductive, but you know... it is what it is. I slap on my Beats and just zone out for a while. Last night was the first time I let myself listen to my two favorite Christmas songs... both by the Killers.

This is my fave:

Also this:

So, today... the very next day, I get a message from The Killers on Facebook that their new Christmas single is available today. Whoa.

The last few have been kinda messy and not that good but these two are perfection. I hope it's good.

I'm putting my tree up this weekend, can't wait. First time doing it myself since moving into the house, but oh well. I'll make due. My mom bought me a Dwight Schrute bobblehead ornament for my tree to go along with the collection I started a few years ago. I got a sweet Eeyore one last year (always my fave) as well as the Jack ornaments I've been accumulating. Trying a new spot for the tree this year, not sure how it's gonna go!

Yay Christmas.

me vs. google reader

A week without a computer leaves 3000+ news items to read in my Google Reader feed.

It feels oddly liberating (in a very nerdy way) to delete hundreds of blocks of items without even reading them.

See, internet... I don't need you, ha.

Mmm... maybe I shouldn't say that.

Oh crap.

Baby, you know I didn't mean it. You know how I say things I don't mean when I get angry. (shoot)...

I can't live without you.

a return to clarity

I just finished reading Freedom by Jonathan Franzen. It was pretty good, probably worth the hype. Patty Berglund writes a memoir entitled "Mistakes Were Made" and that's one of the cornerstones of the book...serving to provide background and also a plot mover after her husband reads it.

In my case...overreactions were made. Probably not the same ring to it. But true. Both positive and negatives.

Was never "empty", just dramatic.

Dial back some of the gushing. I was swept up.

And there are many more examples, but I'm typing on my iPhone.

I'm going to stay levelheaded. It's the wisest move, but also where I'm most comfortable. The sentiments are all the same, just more rational versions. Million little counterpoints I want to make, but I'm gonna let that part of me go for now. This blog offers me a way to still keep my word, but get one key minor point across.

Well, two. I still believe. So...there's that.

That's the last I have to say about any of this for awhile.

bus stop

On Thursday:

Patrick: Don't be upset. The next bus is coming in 15 minutes.

Me: But I like this bus. It has nice seats. I wanna riiiiideeee it.

Patrick: But I'm just saying. It is.

Young Patrick. Retarded 22 year old Patrick.

Correct.

no stress today

As I've mentioned previously, for one reason or another, I went off the deep end this year and spent A LOT of money on fantasy football. Ok, $1225 to be exact. Every year I spend $225 ($150 for league with friends and $75 for my work league) but this year I added an additional $1000 in online high stakes. Good idea? Bad idea? I don't know. I do know that Sundays have been like an alternate universe these last two months.

ANYWAYS, due to the format of those leagues having a $100,000 first prize tournament of champions, the regular season ends TODAY (well, technically tomorrow). So, how did I do?

Two of my three teams are still alive and fighting for a playoff spot. Which is all you can hope for. Anything can happen in the playoffs.

Each team is still alive for a $1600 league championship as well as the high money tournament of champions. Both need to do well TODAY for anything to matter.

No stress today. Nope. None.

I think that due to a culmination of a lot of varied things, this is a one year only situation.

So here's hoping to pull a George Costanza and exit on a high note.

dug does not like the cone of shame

said I wouldn't do something - won't do it.

really want to.

need a cone.

wanna rip my stitches out.

4 k... pt 2

based on today. :p

who wants a mcrib?

Yes, that's how I ever heard of this song. And it's great.

belief

Last year, after James Cameron's blockbuster Avatar was released, a small subset of people felt depressed and even suicidal that the utopian world that he created, Pandora, wasn't real. This simplistic, special effects laden film clearly got under some people's skin - not able to cope with day to day life.

People who believe that Pandora should be real, are they crazy?

Given the size of our universe, the known size of which seems to be expanding on a near daily basis due to the increase in technology, it's almost a certainty that other intelligent forms of life exist somewhere. Despite the overwhelming lack of evidence, people continually believe that aliens have been to earth. Most abduction stories are highly suspect, told by untrustworthy individuals with something to gain. There is of course Area 51 and government coverup conspiracy theories. No proof exists to show that any of this is real but people believe anyway.

Are these people crazy?

Most "ghost" visits and stories are easily explained by aspects of physics or other tricks of light/sound/area effects. There are infinite amounts of stories about haunted houses or ghosts that inhabit certain spots. It's not easy for people to let go of their loved ones and it's even harder to comprehend the after-life (which is almost by nature not comprehendible). Ghosts bridge the gap and almost provide comfort in a way. If ghosts exist, something happens to us after we die. People all over the world believe in ghosts. People all over the world practice rituals, engage in superstitions, and otherwise to speak to ghosts, avoid ghosts, or be near ghosts. All this despite no tangible proof that ghosts exist.

Are these people crazy?

Organized religion is built on principles and foundations that are based on fact, but mostly center around superstitions and myths. If you've ever tried to talk to a born again Christian that believes every word in the Bible is a fact, then you know what I mean. Anytime you present a question that isn't answered by the world we know, you will most likely be answered with "If the Bible says it, then I know it's true." Talking animals. Famines. Plagues. Abraham living to be hundreds of years old. You name it. People fundamentally believe. Despite the fact that there is no tangible proof.

What about these people? Are they crazy in any way?

I tried to cascade from most crazy to least crazy to prove a point in effect. Everyone else is crazy until you consider what you're willing to believe. What level of faith or comfort do you have in the world around you? How much do you need to see, touch, or feel before you're willing to believe? It's not always as easy to put together as you might think. People who may seem crazy at first sight may simply possess a fundamental belief in what they know to be correct.

Now what about love at first sight?

Domestic

So, this weekend I:

- patched a hole in the side of my garage

- fixed my vacuum and vacuumed the entire house

It was broken for maybe two months. All it wound up being was the belt came off on the bottom. But, do people who don't have animals even need to run the sweeper? Or do they just not need to empty the basket 17 times when vacuuming an entire house? Going back 4 years, if I had known Jack had german shepard in him - well, it wouldn't have changed my decision. But I guess I wouldn't have been so surprised when he started shedding his body weight in hair every year.

- washed my sheets

Taken by itself, not a big deal, but I got a new dryer a few weeks ago, and this dryer takes off ALL the hair. The old ratty one did a pretty poor job with hair removal from the sheets, causing me to always have to vacuum them directly, but these are hair free! yay!

So, in summation - I reduced stray dog hair around the house by approximately 7000% this weekend. That's right, 7000%. That's a whole lot of percent. (I can do it - I will do it 9 times).

Now, my plans for the day are to go to the grocery store and then watch football all day. This differs from my previous plans by... well, not at all.

uhhh

Do you ever wish you could control your autonomic nervous system?

I can list many reasons why I should not be nervous right now. Good reasons, with solid justifications.

a) I have my speech memorized word for word. I know all the jokes.

b) I've given this speech four times to crowds already. I know people like it.

c) I've made so many modifications to the speech based on feedback - it's almost as perfect as it can be.

I've been thinking all week that this is no big deal - it's a victory lap, I told myself. You may remember, astute readers, that I did not make it to this final championship round. But the 2nd place finisher of the last competition had another commitment and I backed in as an alternate. I agreed, as this is a good opportunity for me. They said there will be approximately 150 people there. Which doesn't really matter - I kinda zone out once the first word comes out of my mouth. I only scan and find a few people to make eye contact with, anyway... along with quick glances at the timekeeper. So the crowd isn't an issue.

But here I am: noon - approximately 4 hours away from the speech and I'm a little nervous.

I think I'll be fine - I know I will be. My nerves aren't even close to where they were from 8-10AM yesterday, when it felt like an entire butterfly sanctuary was being preserved in my midsection. So I'll make it.

I will just have to do my best to convincingly deliver a speech about how happy I am to be single when I have other things on my mind. :)

so much for partner in crime

If you can't count on your dog to hold a rose in his mouth and look happy for 5 seconds, what is he good for? :)

Good at standing perfectly still with his FU face on and making 7 seconds of video look like a still photo.

I tried to explain to him why he needed step up his game but he just kept laying down. hehe.

crimes against humanity

Buying underwear online is the WORST. The WORST.

I mean, is it too much to ask to browse high end boxer briefs without row after row of six packs and bulging crotches? Can I just see the product?

And if/when people walk in the room? My god. My boss made slight gay jokes in my direction for weeks when she saw me on an MMA website. You see this? Yikes.

blame game

on the bathroom wall i wrote i'd rather argue with you then be with someone else
i took a piss and dismissed it, like fuck it, and went to find somebody else
argue in the hall, but still the feelings yo, i'd rather be by my-fucking-self
until 2 am when i call back, and i hang up and start to blame myself
somebody help

Goooooooood song. I can do without the whole Chris Rock rambling ending but damn.

Meant to write last night. I truly did. Have the entire first chapter (or I think prologue) laid out in my head. I'm cheating a little (a lot) because it mostly happened to me. It's my famous "Ivy League kind, ma'am" story that my friends just die every time they hear. But the whole story is just too much to not share in embellished/fictional format.

But then I got the leak of that new Kanye West album. I've heard nearly all the songs, but all the ones I didn't hear I greatly enjoyed. I love this! Helped me get an extra 15 minute in on the treadmill while I was listening to it. My favorite song, as it has been... "Devil in A New Dress". I loved it when it was released as a short 2 minute GOOD Friday song, and now it's beefed up to 5 minutes with a haunting piano interlude and another verse. Sick.

You'd think that the guy who mostly listens to indie-rock wouldn't be so obsessed with a rap album/rapper, but there you are. Also, none of my favorite bands have released albums in forever!

Been deep in thought a lot lately. It helps to escape a little bit.

mood ring

wrong turn

You have approximately 4 parties on your day planner. They aren't all on the same day, necessarily, but they are all within close proximity of one another. You have had bits and pieces of each of the parties on previous occasions, but you need to make a decision. Which party are you going to attend?

You know that you can only select one party. They are all pretty wild parties and if you go to one then you're going to be wiped out and not be able to attend any of the other parties.

So you pick a party. And it's pretty banging for awhile. Things are going well. You like the party. While you were at this party, you're getting these updates on your iPhone (or equivalent) that make you think that maybe I should have selected this other party instead of this one. But that's all in the back of your mind. But eventually you realize that this party, this is not the best party I've ever been to. I think I need to leave this party.

Now you're not really focused on this other party. You just need to relax.

So you're relaxing but people keep blowing up the Facebook and the Twitter with their pictures of the party and their stories of the party and all you can manage to think is that "Man, I should have gone to this party. I like what I see from this party and I think I really would have enjoyed said party."

So you see that there may be another party coming up, and hot diggity dog, you want to attend this party. But, alas, it appears as though your party invitation has been filled by another indvidual. So now what?

I mean, I suppose you could potentially wrangle an invite to the party with some type of grand gesture or something similar. But, I mean, really? Do we want to make a grand gesture to attend a party that we don't even know that we're going to like? Just cause it looks awesome doesn't mean that it is, right? But it does look pretty awesome.

I guess the lesson that you learn is that you go to the party the first chance you get, because you might not ever make it back into the VIP lounge. Someone else has taken your seat on the bar stool.

I, of course, am talking about my lunch choice a few weeks ago when I went with the carved roast beef at Wegmans when I was also considering the chinese or indian buffet. Maybe a sub sandwich? By the time I was in line and saw the indian food, I could make a scene and say no I don't want this carved sandwich... I want this indian food instead. But that's too much hassle. How do I know this is good indian food?

No, no. Just kidding. It's a story about a girl. Of course it is.

good morning everybody

I'd like to take this opportunity to personally thank Kat Dennings for sexting naked pictures of her gorgeous self to some random dude who felt like these photos belonged to the internet (unless she did it herself).

Either way - YES.

I love Nick and Norah. Kat Dennings and Amanda Seyfried naked in the same year. It's almost too much.

Somewhere I can only hope that Alison Brie is making bad decisions involving cell phones.

meh.

So, it's been about a month since I cut my hair. Even using shampoo now, which has been awhile since that was the case. But yeah... looks bad. About to look hilariously bad. Let's hope this awful, terrible phase doesn't last for long.

Let's see how long it takes to grow out. I think we're having a NYE party, and unless I wind up pleasantly surprised they are going to be hilarious pictures.

Don't see Due Date... it's terrible. That twice (2x!) that Robert Downey Jr. has burned me with awesome trailers. The Soloist also had an incredible trailer and was a heaping serving of mediocrity. What are you doing to me here, Iron Man? I should have seen Megamind.

I'm gonna try to wake up and run before work every day for the next two weeks. Then I have vacation for a week, in which I'm gonna try to be healthy. But let's knock out these 10 runs without being a baby about it, and then everything is gonna be great. Vacation will be very nice - I haven't had one since July and that was a traveling vacation. This will just be a nice relaxing week, and then luckily another one not far after that.

I'm gonna try to be more productive at night - making sure all my chores are done (I tend to fall behind - my bath room is an oof! situation) and also to maybe write? I don't know. I've had an idea in my head for awhile and maybe I'll give it a shot. Thinking of devoting some blocks of time to making a run at it, any way.

A theme/arc involved would be uneasiness/lack of clarity/wanting something more. I can't imagine where the inspiration could have possibly come from.

Side note: playing the new Maroon 5 album while I wrote this (which is taking awhile because it doesn't have my 100% attention) and total soft spot! Good stuff! Cheesy but so good.

accelerate!

I had a pretty awesome weekend - had a public speaking contest on Saturday morning. I got 3rd place, which ended up being the perfect place to finish. Top 2 advanced to the final round in 2 weeks, but I think I made it as far as I wanted to make it. I felt like I had the 2nd best speech of the morning, but am much happier that I got third. I made it 3 rounds, so I beat hundreds of people to finish where I did. Considering how little time I've been doing it I'm pleased.

From there it was straight to PA. Dropped Jack off at my mom's and went straight to Scranton for the party. It was like a trip down memory lane, staying in the same disgusting hotel room that I've opened my eyes for the first time in a new year a few times. Looks like we'll do that again this year.

We rented out the upstairs of a bar. My friends have a nice network of friends to call upon so we ended up with almost 100 people at the party. I was a cock-block, and people seemed to like the costume. A lot of people didn't get it at first, but once they did most thought it was pretty clever. I think I've decided that next year I'm bringing my all-time best and all-time favorite costume, the kissing booth. It's been a few years since I rocked it to great delight and I've yet to see it again in all the years since. I think it's a clutch costume and I need to wear it once every few years.

But the one main take home besides how much fun I had: when I look at the pictures I wince a little bit! Need to accelerate this weight loss a bit. I had been talking before this weekend even that I think I'm gonna start waking up early and getting my runs in in the AM - that seems to work for me. Add some lifting in at night. But the fact is - I look at the pictures and I kinda want to throw up in my mouth a little bit.

So we need to get working on this. Immediately.