People I Hate at the Gym: "Flexes in Mirror Guy"

Let's make one thing perfectly clear; I silently judge everyone I see.

Nowhere is this more evident then at the gym, where people routinely forget they are in a public forum. At least I hope that is the reason.

This will be a many multi-part series, because, well... I hate a lot of people at the gym. I figure it would be a good idea to start with my least favorite person at the gym.

The guy who flexes in the mirror at the gym is the bane of everyone's existence, can we all agree on that? If the myriad of douches who go to the gym were to form a "douchepyramid"... this individual would certainly comprise the apex.

How bad this is depends. If you happen to look over and catch a guy who could legit be a bodybuilder just happening to give a little flex in the mirror of some random muscle...whatever. It's not even mildly annoying.

On the other end of the spectrum is a guy who has no muscle definition but never comes to the gym without his wife beater on. He doesn't wear deodorant, because really... what's the fucking point? He's as white as Ron Howard but he has two diamond studs in his ear because he too hopes to one day fuck Kim Kardashian. Hey, the earrings work for Reggie Bush. He has this greasy passed over look that makes you think that he has a very difficult time making friends, but he certainly loves to work out.

You know what makes his workout even better? Flexing in the motherfucking mirror for everyone to see. I know for a fact that if I just had a hard set of benching 135 I want to bounce right up off the bench and let everyone see it. Majesty like that doesn't come around the gym very often. That's right, guy, stand up and let everyone know full well that you just obliterated the hell out of your triceps and chest.

People try to be sneaky about this but rest assured, you will be duly noted and marked forever as a gigantic douche. There is no way around this. If you think I'm the only one who is noticing this...good luck trying to chat up the hot (ok - mildly attractive girl if you're going to Ballys) on the treadmill next to you.

I think I speak for nearly everyone when I say that no one is impressed and wait until you get home in front of your bathroom mirror before you start dreaming of touching yourself.