Random Thoughts on a Friday are back

It's Friday and it's beautiful out.

- If you ever ask me what my favorite thing in the entire world is, I might give you a few different answers. But the only true answer is summer nights. Even if I forget or slip up or say something else... this is the answer. I love summer nights. They make me so happy. It's probably another month and a half to two months before we have anything that would fit this description but I'm really looking forward to when it happens.

- I own some stock in GE. Today was their quarterly earnings and they beat estimates. Yay? I don't know if that's going to make the stock go up or what. All I know is that individual stock investing is not for me and I need to save up enough money to get a lifecycle fund to just pump money into without thinking too much. It's the investing equivalent of set it and forget it, which is fine with me. The last thing I need is something else to be obsessed with.

- I'm getting my new iPod tomorrow! People don't know what to say when I mention that it's my 5th iPod (w/ the 6th coming this summer in the form of the 3rd gen iPhone). It's a slick tiny blue nano that I got refurbished for $100. Now I can use the Nike+ running apparatus. I already have had the shoes for a year or two - by accident. I asked for the best running shoes for shin splints and that's what the guy gave me. The running doesn't come in to play yet - I'm still just focusing on going to the gym 5 or 6 nights a week, but once it's in the 50s at 6:00 in the morning phase 2 starts, and that includes morning runs. While keeping in the night gym time, and probably a lot of jump rope. I'm dead serious about this, which I guess provides a nice segue into my next point.

- I hate being alone. I don't mind if I have friends around, or whatever, but I have no friends in Syracuse. Who am I kidding? No one from work really gets together to hang out, so really, where am I finding friends? I have been in a relationship for about 70% of my time living in Syracuse so that was pretty much all I have been doing. I know that if I really wanted to be in a relationship again it would take me about a month tops, probably much less than that. Last summer when I was dating I went out with 4 girls in the span of three weeks. But read the last bullet point. I just need to suck it up and deal with this right now, as much as I hate it. I need to do the right thing for me and not the easy thing. It's like everything else I'm trying to accomplish in my life right now - I need to focus on doing the right thing in the long term and not settling for something that will make me feel better right now.

- Did you ever forget about something for a while and then maybe let's say a year later it bothers you? Last August I went on a few dates with this girl and they were two of the best dates of my life. I felt like I was walking on air after the first date and the second one went really well. Too well, if anyone remembers what happened. If only I realized ahead of time that taking things too far would result in her freaking out and not wanting to see me anymore I would have 100% slowed down the train, but I had no prior warning. I mostly forgot about it because the behavior was totally insane (yes I still have the emails) and provided me with many funny stories to tell people. About two weeks later I met someone I ended up spending half a year with, so I completely forgot about it at that point.

When my exgirlfriend Amy and I broke up (and still lived together - hooray for fun times!) we got back together a few times. I don't think any couple that has been together that many years and went through so much together would just end it flat like that. But your mind plays tricks on you. We broke up for reasons, but when you're thinking about it during that period, you only remember the GOOD THINGS. You remember the past and you think about how things were so much fun, and all the great things you did. But when you're looking at the past you tend to ignore all the bad things.

I feel like maybe this situation is like that. You kiss a girl goodnight in your driveway and make plans to go to the NY State Fair on Friday, go to sleep thinking that everything is going a-ok (and didn't you have such a lovely evening), only to wake up and find like a 2000 word essay with the basic gist of "i'm so embarrassed, i can never see you again." That's crazy insane behavior. What is there to look back on fondly? What the hell is wrong with me?

Like I said, I hate being alone.