My ego needs to be bigger

Not in the traditional sense. In the Freudian sense.

The ego acts in accordance with the reality principle and seeks to please the drives of the id by thinking with long term goals in mind. The id, on the other hand, wants what it wants and it wants it now.

I've really been struggling with this issue for the past month or so. I really want to just cut loose, say fuck it to my goals, find some barely passable girl (like a 7 tops), and just not worry about anything.

The slight problem with this is that, well, it's the most retarded thing in the world.

Luckily, my ego is big enough to stuff the id back in the jar and tell it ever so gently that it's not allowed to come out and play now.

The unfortunate aspect of the whole scenario is that my ego is only strong enough to hold the id in the jar 85-90% of the time. The id has a sneaky way about it. It's able to poke it's head of the jar when no one else is looking. It's like a red spiky haired hedgehog on crystal meth. You're not stopping that motherfucker when it wants to say hello. It could probably lift up an entire bus to pick a quarter up off the ground (yes, I stole that from Red Balls on the Chapelle Show and screw you for having as good of a memory as I do for realizing that).

The real sheriff in this enterprise that keeps both the ego and the id in check is the super-ego, as all you closest psychoanalysts already know. The super-ego strives for "perfection"... that sounds a bit like someone I know quite well.

The super-ego is also said to punish misbehavior with feelings of guilt.

Hypothetically, say someone let themself get really out of shape over a period of years through a combination of laziness and apathy. The super-ego would, at some pre-determined point, step in and make that person feel guilty. That person would then most likely cut off all contact with the outside world and not allow themself to have any fun whatsoever... to punish themself.

The id doesn't really want to co-operate with either of its oppressors. It's silently plotting inside the jar all day long. Waiting. Watching. Just looking for the opportunity to declare a jihad against the tyranny and the bullshit.

It sends out warning signals like flares. They aren't dangerous in and of themselves, but they let you know that it's there. Planning. Waiting. Letting you know that the minute you drop your guard down you're going to make a mistake. A glorious, short-term pleasure providing mistake.

The integrity of the jar is still intact. There have been cracks now and then, but the fantastic thing about the ego and super-ego is that they carry around superglue to fix the jar in case of emergency. And every day they get stronger...I believe they lift weights together and spot each other on their squat thrusts. They don't really feed the id the proper amount of nutrients on a daily basis, so he's getting weaker. Quieter.

But still dangerous, nonetheless.

I know that sounds like crazy psych talk and stuff that could never really happen in real life, but hey, I read it on wikipedia, so it must be true.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and edit Sarah Palin's wikipedia page to bring the light the fact that she was illegitimately conceived by an affair between her mother and a rabid wolverine. Good day to you.