The ways in which my dog is not a complete retard

Typical Jack: Hiding under a table but very pleased to do so

If you've ever met my dog Jack, then you probably know that he is in some ways, me in dog form. He's big and goofy, mostly lazy, very lovable and affectionate. When he decides to not be lazy he's a big ball of clumsy energy, full of wiggles and craziness. When he isn't afraid for his life (which is too often - squirrels are SCARY dude), my dog always has a giant smile on his face, whether he's genuinely that happy or that's just his nature. There has only been one person, that I know of, that didn't like Jack and I secretly think she may be a robot.

But my dog, like most dogs, is not smart. He does all the normal things that make dogs unintelligent. There are times I think that he has no brain. When he barks at an inanimate object or stares at a spot on the wall for hours, I wonder what is going through is mind.

But there are ways in which my dog shows that he is not a lost cause.

• Whenever Jack poops on another dog's lawn, or any place that isn't "his" for that matter, he does a little routine that consists of pooping and then proceeding to wipe his feet and kick grass all over the place. All the while, he has the biggest smile on his face. He knows what's he's doing.

• Same thing for "marking" other territory - he'll pee on another dog's tree or fence or grass and then skip away like he just fell in love - biggest smile in the world.

• My dog is only 2, but he knows routines and specific objects very well. Whenever I put on my blue/yellow Nike shoes, he goes to the couch and lays down. I only wear those shoes when I'm going to run or to the gym and he knows that I'm going somewhere and he is not. He accept this and decides to get a head start on his nap.

• My dog doesn't waste motion. He knows that eating is hard work and he might as well relax while he does it. :)

Ok - maybe my dog is a complete retard. But that's the wonderful thing about having a dog - it only makes it more endearing.